Dreamer, dying

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."- Martin Luther King Jr.

She wanted to be

But gave up that Dream

For reasons you'll never see

Juliet is Falling, Flying, Leaving

"Take lots of pictures. Not of sights. Don't take pictures of buildings. Take pictures of moments."- Shawn Spencer (James Roday)

The Final Goodbye

He lost it all

Realization falls on his face

and rests in his hazel eyes

as he stares at the Girl.

'I Love You' had been on his lips a thousand times

But nothing so sweet

as when she broke down

and caved.

The wall to her heart open and flooding

But the kiss still hurt.

Too much for just once.

It was still a goodbye

But his mind was made up

...just a little too late.

her head in the clouds jetting off with him.

He couldn't just let her go.

He wouldn't believe in that.

For Leah: Into the Present

"Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and the longitudes." -Henry David Thoreau

The hum of life passes around him

But he's stuck in the past

Lost in the sea of old faces

And even older places

refusing to let go

of the joy he felt there

At "way back when"

His vision is clouded

with these wild memories

of craziness and happiness and neon

His ears ringing with the sway of palm trees

And the laughter of old friends by a camp fire.

But life goes on

In it's monotone dance

Pulling him forward

Into the present

Clutching the sweetness

of the past

to his fast beating chest

A Short Memory of History Ten Years in the Making

"Posterity! You will never know how much it cost the present Generation to preserver your Freedom! I hope you will make good use of it. If you do not, I shall repent in Heaven, that I ever took half the Pains to preserve it."- John Adams

The different ways in which we express our freedom: the American Flag wrapped around her like a beach towel, a comforting hug. Others wear it as their armour, their lifeline. Still others wear it as the burning memory upon their chest of the thousands who died on this very day ten years ago.

I was old enough to remember, but young enough not to fully understand the hysteria the country around me felt. I remember getting dropped off in front of my elementary school that morning with the knowledge, or more the sense, the sense that something was terribly, terribly wrong. But I looked up at the bright blue sky and rushed inside anyway. A little scared. I think I was a little scared. I had, after all, heard the words my parents were saying while I ate my breakfast.

I remember the day that I awoke to a teary-eyed mother. I immediately panicked. Who died? was what I thought. But as I ate my pancakes (or some other breakfast item) sitting in the same chair I had been ten years earlier, my mother informed me that the CIA had found Osama Bin Laden and that the Navy SEALs had killed him. We ran into the living room to watch the story be confirmed on the news. I shouted for joy. Yes! I jumped around a little. HISTORY! I screamed. I was very excited about that part.

This is a day that always hits the heartstrings for me. It always seems so real. Like it wasn't ten years ago, but twelve hours ago.

I'd like to say thank you to all of the firemen who were at the Twin Towers, that day. And especially to those who lost their lives. I salute you! God Bless America!

She Dances Boldly

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal." -C.S. Lewis

She dances boldly

moving to the beat of her heart

now warmed by a cold-blooded soulless being

She can't see what the world has discovered in him

And so she dances boldly

They try to warn her heart

But she is too far away to hear

the Warning, and the Words

And so she dances boldly

She doesn't see the way he'll wring her heart once again

He wouldn't hurt her twice, she's convinced

The world is watching, waiting

And so she dances boldly

Before her heart breaks

The boy who wishes she'd smile at him instead

Calls her out

Frozen in her boldness

From the depths of the Hundred Acre Forest

"The fire is the main comfort of the camp, whether in summer or winter, and is about as ample at one season as at another. It is as well for cheerfulness as for warmth and dryness." -Henry David Thoreau

The words are flying by at a surprising rate. My fingers hit the keys, a constant rhythm behind my thought process as the world I've created takes over my reality. Suddenly I'm not at home sitting at my desk anymore, but I'm wandering the rooftops of New York and the streets of Russia with a Prince.


And the best part about today: I received a care package from home! At most traditional camps, one would expect forbidden treats and candies and chocolates, but here at Camp NaNoWriMo, it is standard to receive a package of really cool looking mechanical pencils. Definitely the best part of my day.

The joy I feel from this writing escape is ridiculous. Whenever I think about it, I just want to giggle with joy!

The Blood In My Veins Was Costly

"But what do we mean by the American Revolution? Do we mean the American War? The Revolution was effected before the war commenced. The Revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people; a change in their religious sentiments, of their duties and obligations...This radical change in the principles, opinions, sentiments, and affections of the people was the real American Revolution." -John Adams, member of the first and second Continental Congress, signatory of the Declaration of Independence, and Second President of the United States of America

The world explodes around me. A smile escapes my face as I stare up to the fading sky. A fire burns beside me, the orange flames glowing in the dusk of this monumental holiday. The acoustic guitar's melody is sweet as the sugary marshmallows roasted over the fire. As I glance around me, I see the familiar faces of family through the sparks from the fire. The embers glow brighter as the sky surrounding me grows progressively darker turning the towering trees around me a stark black.

It's still too light to see the bright infusions of color that trademark this day. The pool echoes as the fire crackles. The all anticipated joint explosions of light and sound growing ever closer. The sounds remind me faintly of a battlefield and what it must have sounded like as those bold signatures signed that ever important piece of paper that I, myself, laid eyes on just a few short weeks ago. I can hear the drum beat and the troops march in their bold red and cunning browns and blues. I hope that in my own right, someday I'll be remembered by my friends and family as a patriot, too. Because I love this country. My country.

God Bless America!

Staring at the Glass Mirrored Life of a Broken Soul

"One thing you can't hide-is when you're crippled inside."- John Lennon

The storm comes at night

Sitting there all alone

Shivering in the dark and cold

Not a friend, not as soul to talk to

Not a house to call home

Not a blanket to keep warm at night

But with the morning dawn

Brings a Smile

And everyone thinks he's happy

His smile is so great

But it's just a facade

He's silently begging you to see through

Straight to the garden of his heart and notice.

Notice the wilting sunflowers

The withering plumeria

The dead roses

All that's left are thorns and vines

He needs someone to listen to him and

Whisper in his ear tell me everything

Someone to hug him when he's done and say okay

Someone to restore the life in the garden of his heart

All alone, he needs a friend

And cookies made with laughter

A Little Bit of Sugar

"The world is quiet here."- Lemony Snicket

He walks in the bitter of night lost and all alone

Those he loves most, dead

But the stars are shining

And so he smiles

Yet his eyes tell a different story

The tears glistening,

Slide down his cheeks, silently screaming

But peace fills his soul

For tomorrow is another day

And all is not lost

He has no home, no place of belonging

And yet, it's a lesson learned

Of whom to trust and who to let go

The rain pours down

On his shivering shoulders

Clouds cover the moon, and the wind blows

He is surrounded by darkness

And so he lets out an inaudible sigh

But in the distance a solitary lamp is burning

And there she stands smiling, waiting

It Brings Back Memories...

"And your life,' Katie said to Christy, 'is turning into a rather predictable romance. Girl meets boy. Boy is a dork for four years. Girl blossoms into a gorgeous woman. Boy finds his brain. Girl turns into starry-eyed mush head." -Robin Jones Gunn Is it weird that this quote brings back childhood memories? Because those books were my life for like three years, and now I'm on the re-re-rereading train. Robin Jones Gunn books feel like home to me. There is a sense of satisfaction and comfort that comes with slipping between the pages of one of her books. I've been to California, England, Italy, Spain, Oregon, Hawai'i and Switzerland through these books. I've dedicated an entire shelf on my very large book-shelf to these books. There are times that I'd be reading, and I would never know that people were talking to me or where we were because I was most definitely somewhere happier or more interesting. I hope that everyone has at least one book that feels like home to them. I don't know what I'd do or who I'd be if my best friend didn't convince me to read these books when we were in the fifth grade.

Putting an End to The End

"Don't adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story." -J.R.R. Tolkien

They say there's a such thing as an end, but I don't believe them. No story ever stops after the last page. The people just don't stop living. They breathe In. Out. In. Out. every second whether it's told or not. They face new struggles and mountains that must be peaked, but the story never ends. Not really. Not if you listen closely and dream. That's when living truly begins. In the Happily Ever After that is anything but happy. It's adventure. Something exciting and thrilling and frightening and disturbing. There's always a new cross to bear. So never believe them when they say 'THE END'.

(Thanks Caroline for the Tolkien quote!)

Forever is the Sunset of You and Me

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you." -A. A. Milne

Two words: Best Friends. Just seeing those words together like that brings a flooding of images to your mind. Laughter, smiles, inside jokes, serious heart-to-hearts, long conversations on the phone. Best friends are the most special things in the world, and the really true ones, will never be a day without you. So to my best friends, I love you more than you could know, and I don't tell you enough how much I appreciate you, and I know there's never really a day that I live without you. To us, forever.