Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Going, but not Gone

"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend."-Robert Louis Stevenson

Stunned, Ryder stood there by Lacey's hospital bed and held her limp hand, remembering her last words before she fell unconscious. He swallowed hard and glanced at Lacey's face. A peaceful expression had taken residence there after a momentary look of discomfort as she lost consciousness. Silent tears streaked down Ryder's face as he allowed himself to think about the possibility of losing his best friend forever. Ryder thought back to the day when they first met.

It was summer-June fourth-to be exact. He had just moved into the house next to her Grandma. They met outside in the field spanning between the yards. She was four and he had just turned five. Her beautiful golden ringlets glowed in the sun and her light pink bow went perfectly with her lady bug dress. Lacey was the one to strike up the conversation all those years ago. "Hi, I'm Lacey. What's your name?" she had asked. "I'm Ryder," he had replied while pointing a finger at his chest. "Do you want to play with me?" Lacey asked, just as her older cousin Vera walked out of the house and down towards Lacey and Ryder. He replied, "Sure," and they were instantly best friends. That day, they skipped rope and played with balls, and chased each other in the field with Vera watching over them. Dinner came all too soon and suddenly Lacey was inviting Ryder over for spaghetti and meatballs. Vera helped Ryder and Lacey ask permission from both Ryder's mom and their Grandma. When both agreed, Ryder and Lacey happily skipped around the kitchen table until the food was on the table.

Ryder squeezed Lacey's hand silently praying that she would be okay. The door squeaked open and in walked nurses and doctors who promtly whisked him out of the room while they evaluated Lacey's condition. Ryder collapsed into the nearest chair and let the tears fall and the memories flood his mind.

Tomorrow is Another Day

"Gravity had taken over, and I was hurtling towards the unknown, praying that it would be better than the place I just left."-Ally Carter

Today is just one of those days that will all too soon become just a blur, a fading memory from a summer that will soon blend in with all the others. I'll be confusing this road trip with another and still won't know the day that it happened. And then there's the little thing called tomorrow. Lately, I've been pondering what tomorrow will be like. I guess I'll never really know because there is no day called tomorrow. It simply doesn't exist. But I still dream of what I wish it would be. I can almost feel the breeze against my bare arms and the chill racing down my spine with the excitement of something new and unforetold. There also seems to be a yesterday, but it is bittersweet and I'd rather not cry, so that's all I will say on that. I have few regrets from the past that I will correct in the future and I must move on and live my life facing forward, not running backwards. That never ends well.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Coffeshops before Hastings

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" -Mary Oliver

Many bodies gathered in the small cramped building in the heat of summer. Some were there for coffee. Some wanted to hear what others had to say, and still, some were there to speak their minds in foreign riddles. With everyone there and no air conditioning, some passersby found they could only focus on the sweltering heat and the close proximity they were in with the next sticky body to their left and right. Some were so captivated by the words, that only in silence did they notice the uncomfortable heat. The words that flowed were magical and life changing.

The hot coffee shop was an antique itself, filled with mismatched chairs and tables. Covering the walls were paintings of all sorts. Inside the four walls stood the greatest art of all-words. It had neon signs announcing and welcoming the passing public. An old pay phone stood the solemn solider outside the main window. A shaded deck filled with metal chairs gave a full view of the small southern town of which the coffee shop existed. Across the street, a business building and a convenient parking lot. Beside the shop began a local college campus starting with art buildings and odd sculptures. Enveloping this interesting world was the direct product of the fiery ball cascading, pushing bright hot light into the lives of all.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Curious Case of Crunchy Carrots

"Not knowing you can't do something is sometimes all it takes to do it."-Ally Carter

Love is a sweatshirt.

In Church, our pastor has been teaching us about "What Christians should wear" and this week he was talking about love. When he mentioned that it's supposed to go over all the others, I thought Love is a sweatshirt. Sweatshirts are so comfy and often they remind me of certain things-vacations, characters, places, people. Remembering is fun, but looking forward to the future and new adventures is exciting. I get butterflies in my tummy every time I think about the future. A small smile forms from my lips, and my eyes glow brighter than ever.

But you've forgotten...

Sometimes, sad things try to weigh you down, but those are the moments when it's most crucial that you throw your hands in the air, release your smile, sing at the top of your lungs, and dance. Sometimes, crying doesn't do the healing. But hugging, smiling, and laughing do.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow.

So no matter what's going on-get moving! You've only got one life to live, and it better be worth it. So please, make every second count and take every chance you get to truly live. You'll be happier for it.

Friday, July 16, 2010

When I'm the Rain

"I know it's hard on a rainy day-you want to shut the world out and just be left alone, but don't run out on your faith."-Carrie Underwood

Rain is the most peaceful sound in the world. For some reason, I prefer thunderstorms to sunny days. I always say that I love a good cloudy, rainy day. One filled with lots of tea and books. That sounds good, but when I'm the rain-that's not so fun. When it's stormy inside me, I just want to cry and feel okay. I want to know that things will get better and that I'll find reasons to smile again. In those cases, I dearly miss the sunshine. It's hard to cope when the clouds fall, but we all seem to find a way to make things work out for the better. So to all those who need a little rain or who are experiencing some now, never ever give up hope. There's always sunshine at the end of the tunnel. Take these words as your rainbow and run to comfort like chocolate.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Adrenaline Laced Combo of Hope and Adventure

"The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one."-Fortune from tonight's cookie

She stands on the corner of Front Street and Main. The grey clouds hang low, threatening rain, but she doesn't care. Her smile is brighter than the sun could ever be. Her eyes sparkle prettier than any diamond ever found. She has no raincoat or umbrella to protect her. She is herself, jumping off of the cliff of hiding and facades, parasailing over the open ocean of hope and adventure and the future. Chances are that she'll fail, but the worst case scenario is that she will be swimming with the dolphins in the shimmering ocean happier, still, that she took the risk and jumped. She is oblivious to the clouds and the cynical pessimists of the world because all that she sees is opportunity and happiness and chances that, no matter how dangerous, must be taken. She sees that the only true success is not metered by how much money is made, what kind of car you drive, or how big your house is, but rather, success is found by creating yourself and actually living in your own skin. She's going to be on top of the world someday and conquer all.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Gone

"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."-Andy Warhol

Don't you see
all the energy she spends
just so she won't cry
in front of you?
Everyday
listening to her iPod
to help her cope
or make her worse?
Either way, it's done
and she's gone
not herself.
not happy.
not caring-
about anything but what's
already gone

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Saving the world one Crown at a Time

"Kathy Morningside: 'They steal my life. They steal my beauty pageant!'
Gracie Hart: 'Hey! It is not a beauty pageant. It is a scholarship program.'
Kathy: 'Yeah, yeah.'
Gracie: 'YES!' "-Miss Congeniality

I don't really know what a superhero is. But, what I do know is that the thirty-four most qualified teens inside these state borders to be considered super, were the contestants of the MAOT Pageant. Everyone seems to think that girls that compete in "Beauty Contests" are shallow, have eating disorders, are airheads, and are completely fake. So, how many of the stereotypical pageant girls have I encountered? Well, let's see...if you carry the one, then...oh, yeah-NONE! For example, the current MAOT 2010 is Mackenzie Bryant. She is about to go into her senior year in High School. She has a four point GPA and got third place in the go green competition. She is healthy and beautiful. She has her own personal miracle story. When she was born, she was sent to Children's Hospital and was given a ten percent chance to live. They put her on ECMO and said that if she lived, she would have mental health issues. Today, she is brilliant, nice, and she has the best turns and leaps I've ever seen on stage. Well, those doctors were right about one thing, she definitely isn't normal. She's awesome. For the ECMO, they had to cut an artery in her neck. It wasn't supposed to ever be functional again, but it grew back together and is normal today. Mackenzie, isn't only a miracle, but she helps miracles such as her own happen everyday. She has fundraisers and makes speeches to gain support for ACH and everything that they do. She has poise, and class, and can definitely get an audience's attention whether it's by dancing or speaking, she's a master at both. And that was only ONE example of all of the fabulous teens competing in the MAOT pageants. I haven't even gotten started on my sister, or Rachel Harless, or Madison Watkins. Just remember this because all of the crazy pageant people are featured on TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Truth behind the Crown

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."-Aldous Huxley

Too many people today see pageants and think that the girls are just pretty airheads. Instead, they are brilliant and poised and funny. Actually, the average ACT score for the top 5 Miss America contestants in 2006 was a 31. These girls know how to answer questions and laugh in the face of pressure. And they look beautiful while doing it. They are talented-they can dance and sing and play instruments. This week, 34 of the greatest 13-17 year olds in Arkansas, gathered in Hot Springs for MAOT. Later tonigt, they will crown the next Miss Arkansas' Outstanding Teen with Savvy Shields doing the crowning. I must say that I would hate to be one of the judges trying to decide who should be in the top ten + one more from people's choice and then the ultimate winner, the one who goes home with the crown.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Scene Again

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."-Kurt Vonnegut

Here we all are, once again. Pretending that everything is the same, protecting everything and nothing at the same time. Look how many fake smiles we can exchange between us. It's a record I'd say. But the one true moment was when I saw you and smiled. When you saw me and hugged me. When we said hello and talked. Like old times. Everything was fine, for one odd moment. Too, soon, we are back to playing the game, for it is just a game. Not a clue who's winning, though. More conversations and smiles, but these are fake. At the end of the day, I feel victorious, but also confused. Was your acting that good, or were you honest and real? I can't really tell. Still, I know that the hug from earlier made me happier than I've been in a long while. It was like a hot shower, a warm blanket and a soft bed, and a good night's sleep.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Glitter and Sparkly Dresses

"After all, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."- Ann Richards

Tonight was the first prelim for MAOT. Half of the girls did their talent, and they were all amazing. Mackenzie Bryant won that section with her fabulous dance. The other half of the girls did evening gown and active wear. I saw several push-ups tonight, and not one was the girly kind! Everyone had awesome evening gowns. There were navy, pink, and everything in between. And of course, they were all sparkly and glittery! It was the first time in MAOT history that the current queen held the title for three years. Yep, she was crowned when she was thirteen, one week later she turned fourteen and today is her birthday-Happy Birthday Savvy Shields! Even though the pageant was cool, my favorite part of the evening was the visitation after where you got to hang out (and get TONS of pictures taken) with all of the contestants and their friends and family. Many congratulations were said and many gifts were given. I talked with Mackenzie Bryant, my sister, and several others. At the visitation, I also saw my awesome ballet teacher, Mrs. Jenny. Well, it's late and tomorrow begins early as the breakfast closes in the hotel at nine-thirty. Tomorrow is the second night of prelims before the crowning on Saturday! I honestly can't wait to see everything tomorrow. Again, good luck to all of the contestants. Especially my favorites-Bailey Craig, Mackenzie Bryant, Rachel Harless, Madison Watkins, Raygan Sylvester, Mary Scarlett Sherwood, and Caitlyn Cook!